Music from a German folk melody, Lyrics by Kobi LaCroix
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
You're dead and decomposing
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
Your verdant leaves are brown now
You look pathetic standing there
Your sickly branches going bare
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
Your needles clog the vacuum
O, plastic tree
O, plastic tree
Assembling you is a nightmare
O, plastic tree
O, plastic tree
Your parts are all mislabeled
Instructions all in Japanese
You somehow got Dutch Elm Disease
O, plastic tree
O, plastic tree
You're laced with lead and mercury
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
By drunkards decorated
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
Your ornaments are beer cans
Your tinsel's all been torn to shreds
Your angel topper has no head
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
The dog has marked his territory
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
Gratuitously shiny
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
You scream to cats, "Destroy me!"
Your lights are wired improperly
You start on fire randomly
O, Christmas tree
O, Christmas tree
Next year you'll be a compost heap.
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